This year is going to be a great year, after-all 12 years ago the world changed and now it’s woken up to it. Some of us have been aware of this for a while now and have been putting things into place to take advantage of this change.
I have noticed a huge ‘up-swing’ in method of the masses towards the change. The digital change.
Digital. 01101111 01110000 01110100 01101001 01101101 01101001 01110011 01101101
This year I have learned that I have an illness called bipolar disorder. I’m still coming to terms with what that means other than a fancy way of saying ‘artistic temperament’. But I am aware that something is, well not wrong, more is it’s there.
Bipolar to me is a chemically induced roller-coaster ride of emotions, massive highs followed my massive lows. Both of which, perversely, I wouldn’t change for anything!
I am who I am and always have been, if I change now then I’m only betraying myself. And that will ultimately fail.
What I am learning though is to control the chemicals in my head, and to this end I have changed my lookout to everyday existence. No longer will I or do I over stretch myself in the vain hope that I can convince myself that overworking is the right thing to do.
In other words I’ve slowed down my work a day world. I do what I need to then go and play golf.
Why not? The world didn’t stop when I was ill, it didn’t miss me – and for that matter I didn’t miss it. What I do miss is life.
Life is important, people are important, not a self induced work ethic based on societal pressures.
And that brings me to another matter – societal pressures.
Organised religion, politics, corporate identities, hierarchy and the worst, capitalism. These are the most hateful titles I know, these are the dread of my every day, these are the driving force behind my depression.
Never have so many singularities been the cause of so much depravity, crime and genocide. And yet they sit in their fucking ivory towers happy in their little pigeon holes, content in the feeling that what they are is OK. Democratic bullshit.
And yet they are me. They are who I am. They are what I’ve become. They are all of us.
And yet I know they don’t work.
